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12/14/2005 2:17 pm |
A really excellent discussion is so hard to come by. One of the main reasons I have found is because there are many people who are more interested in getting THEIR point across to the other person rather than a give and take, sharing of ideas and thoughts. I've been guilty of this myself - shocking to find out I'm not perfect, I know!! I love face to face discussions mainly because body language is highly important in most conversations. I gesture a lot. You don't get to have that online or on the phone. When discussing subjects online, words are open to all kinds of interpretation and it can be difficult be understood in the context that you were intending. It's the same in person but not quite as bad IMO. I'm able to joke and kid entirely off the cuff but when it comes to coherrant thoughts I sometimes need a little time LMAO. So there is my pro for online discussion. It does take longer than I usually care for but you can really get to the heart of a matter and communicate ideas and thoughts more in depth. I love the way you've presented the abilities and limits of such a flimsy tool as language. I completely agree. There are many times when words just aren't enough. They aren't adequate. In more "normal" circumstances actions would be used to back up the words. With online friendships and relationships it is more difficult to "show" someone that you mean what you say. When that part is missing, I really come to appreciate everyday one on one interaction with others. And long for it when it isn't available. Understanding is an awesome goal. It can be hard to achieve in most cases and even more difficult when certain factors enter into it. The question then becomes; Are you willing to put forth the effort to understand and in turn be understood? We are complicated beings. Especially those of us with more than 2 dimensions!  They call me MotorMouth....LOL
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12/15/2005 3:56 pm |
I suppose, Will, that if I agree with you about something, I'm still having a unique thought. I was wondering if all "agreement" -type thoughts are an exception to the Unique Truism. I mean, if I agree, then my thought is the same as yours and, ergo not unique. BUT... The thought is MY experience! How my agreement-process plays out in my conscious-awareness is MINE. So I won't argue it until the cows come home. LOL I want to communicate my agreement to you. I use words. You say these words are tools. You say, "tool." You could also say, "pointer." You could say, "pointing finger." You could say, "arrow." You could say, "sign." You could say, "Dip-diddlywhopfurckistan." If you said the last one, no one would know what the hell you were talking about. Each of these words SIGNIFY a meaning- or no meaning, as the case may be. They all have signified meanings that overlap. (They all have signified meanings which DON'T overlap.) The wordtool "love" has a tremendous amount of signified meaning. This one tool is used for so many different jobs! There was a woman on the advice line not too long ago, who didn't know whether to say, "I love you," to her guy (whom she fancied she loved). My advice was to break it down. If she was afraid that the "L" tool would scare him- and she was- she could figure out what she would be MEANING when she said it, and then just say all THAT, instead. She might mean all kinds of things by it. She would hope he knew exactly what it signified to her. She was afraid that it signified something else to him. Still, it was very important to her that she use THIS PARTICULAR TOOL. Why? We can speculate based on our own signified meanings for that tool. I think it is an extremely valuable skill to have, to be able to identify what your signified meanings are, and take responsibility for them. IMHO It is the beginning of the understanding you (and  value so highly.
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12/16/2005 8:44 pm |
When I can't find my hammer I've used the handle of a screwdriver to pound nails into the wall. I rarely use the tool intended for a specific task. Same with my words. Sometimes I'm closer to being alphabet soup than anything. I'm not too sure what this says about me, if anything. All I can say for sure is that there are always going to be break downs in communication. It's part of life. The tactic that has worked for me so far is this: If I can't tell em, show em. If I can't show em, tell em. If I can't do either. Fuck it. 
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