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bedroom golf....you gotta love it !!! 9/10/2008
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play
- normally one club and two balls. 2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the
hole and keep the balls out. 4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft.
Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before
play begins. 5. Course owners ...
1 Comments, 65 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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hahaha just had to get this one off my chest. 9/7/2008
My ex seemed to have found the answer to getting me to swing
with her..
she read on the dance's website that you tell your partner
over and over that you desperately want to watch them have
sex with someone else... word for word off the site. no originality
whatsoever...
what did she think i wouldn't figure it out eventually
and read the website?? lol
just had to put ...
4 Comments, 121 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score
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why guys of corse gals also look4 relationship n when 9/7/2008
it is a silly question but why a well knit knit united family
member looks for relationship cos of fun fantassy bore of same way of sex or need more lust
in life and at what age is it safe ...
1 Comments, 33 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Make an Impression 8/25/2008
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN... compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her....
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN... show up naked, bring beer.
2 Comments, 58 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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How to tell if your a swinger 8/20/2008
100 Ways to tell if your a swinger 1. You are wearing wristbands in most of your vacation photos.
2. Half of the numbers on your cellphone are listed only
by screen names. 3. You are running out of reasons to tell your coworkers
why you can't go out with them this weekend. 4. You have over 100, 000 frequent flyer miles on Air Jamaica.
5. You know most of your friends' names only as couples
(Rich ...
1 Comments, 116 Views,
7 Votes
,4.57 Score
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Vibrators are fore fun 8/20/2008
In 1992 I went hospital to give birth to my lovely
( who is now 16 ) but when I was away my mother-in-law decided
to get me some clothes out of my cupboard. To my horror my
lovely husband had put my one and only big black vibrator
on top of the clothes she chose for me to put on. Mind you I
would have hope in hell of fitting into the dress but on top
of that she would have had to move my ...
2 Comments, 225 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
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Do you still get horny? 8/10/2008
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch in Bonita
Springs, doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'
The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'
The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'
The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives
you to the beach?'
2 Comments, 173 Views,
12 Votes
,3.51 Score
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Booty Call Agreement copy and paste it funny stuff 8/10/2008
Booty Call Agreement
This pre-booty call agreement (here in after referred
to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the
_____________ day of ___________, 2008 by_______________
and ________________.
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULE AND PRINCIPALS:
1. No sleeping over. Unless it is very good and we need to
repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting ...
4 Comments, 129 Views,
8 Votes
,5.33 Score
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40 MISTAKES MEN MAKE WHILE HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN 8/9/2008
I posted this under My other nic on Tranny Dating I just had to bring
it over here to Xmatch.
This is what I was told by a woman so I guess it is true..
Guys take a little time to read ALL of this. You might
be surprised just how true it is.
1) NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and diving straight
for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're ...
5 Comments, 209 Views,
17 Votes
,6.52 Score
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travelling man 7/30/2008
My wife, when I traveled away, Made sly extramarital hay, And partied for hours With chosen endowers, And often came back the next day.
1 Comments, 79 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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newlyweds 7/30/2008
To his bride a young bridegroom said, "Pish! Your cunt is as big as a dish!" She replied, "Why, you fool, With your limp little tool It's like driving a nail with a fish!"
1 Comments, 71 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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Age of consent - not cuumulative! 7/19/2008
Carbon here - Tranny Dating self proclaimed resident sex and relationship
advice guru.
THIS WEEK: Twins!
A warning for all you lovers out there - when on the rather
sensitive (and provocatively imaginative) subject of
twins, there are a few important, but often overlooked
issues that need to be addressed. These tips have been researched
dilligently by myself and others in my relationship ...
1 Comments, 128 Views,
25 Votes
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watch what you wish for...... 7/3/2008
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his
wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through,
so he prayed:
'Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while
my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through,
so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day Amen.'
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
...
5 Comments, 171 Views,
13 Votes
,4.99 Score
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HOW TO MAKE WOMEN HAPPY...? 6/30/2008
How To Make Women Happy... The Point System (advice according to women)
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the
woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You
don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Simple Duties: You make the bed (+1) You ...
1 Comments, 126 Views,
17 Votes
,0.86 Score
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man are like... 6/30/2008
... Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
... Coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night
long.
... Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.
... Computers. Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
... Coolers. Load them ...
2 Comments, 82 Views,
21 Votes
,2.51 Score
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short but funny 6/28/2008
What did the alcoholic do with his first 50 cent piece? He married her ...
2 Comments, 75 Views,
9 Votes
,3.64 Score
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THE DREAMER 6/13/2008
After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just
dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day.
What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it
to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled
"The meaning of dreams"
2 Comments, 293 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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playboy centerfold 6/13/2008
Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are
married.
Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman.
1 Comments, 71 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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halloween costume 6/13/2008
On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were having
trouble picking suitable outfits. After a while the wife
got mad and stormed out of the room. Fifteen minutes later she came
back completely naked execpt for a lemon between her legs.
The husband looked at her for a moment and then stormed out
of the room himself. Twenty minutes passed and then he came
back himself with a ...
2 Comments, 110 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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a picture is worth a thousand words.... 6/13/2008
A wealthy man sat in his attorney's office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?"
the lawyer asked. "Give me the bad news first." "Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."
"That's the bad news?" the man asked incredulously.
"I can't wait to hear the terrible news."
"It's of you and your mistress."
4 Comments, 138 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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next??? 6/13/2008
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the
ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
1 Comments, 103 Views,
11 Votes
,5.04 Score
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men and women 6/13/2008
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
1 Comments, 50 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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hmmmmmm..... 6/13/2008
A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found
his wife in bed with another man. "Get over it, buddy, " he said. "It's
not the end of the world." "It's all right for you to say, " answered
his buddy. "But what if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with
your wife?" The fella ponders for a moment, then says, "I'd
break his cane and kick his seeing-eye in the ass."
2 Comments, 98 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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headache cure?? 6/13/2008
A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a headache." "Perfect" her husband said. "I was just
in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository, ... it's up to you!"
2 Comments, 94 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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tech support 6/13/2008
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting
modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that
had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband
1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed
undesirable programs ...
1 Comments, 57 Views,
0 Votes
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men and wine..... 6/13/2008
Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and keep
them in the dark until they mature into something you'd
want to have dinner with.
2 Comments, 195 Views,
11 Votes
,4.29 Score
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poor frank 6/13/2008
On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak
to the minister. "Would it be right, " he asked, "for
a person to profit from the mistakes of another?" "Absolutely not!" replied the pastor. "In that case, " said the young man, "I
wonder if you'd consider returning the hundred dollars I paid you to marry my wife
and me last July."
1 Comments, 67 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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Q&A 6/3/2008
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals
1 Comments, 53 Views,
0 Votes
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men and women 6/3/2008
Men and women are not alike.
Sure, you thought you already knew that. But now we have
conculsive proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on
the following topics, these facts have emerged:
RELATIONSHIPS:
First, a man does not call a relationshipo a relationship
- he refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie were boinking on
a semi-regular basis." ...
2 Comments, 73 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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WEATHERING MARRIAGE 6/2/2008
What do Marriage and a Tornado have in common?
Well you start off with a lot of blowing and then sucking,
and then next thing you know your house is gone!
2 Comments, 209 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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